Meh
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Outsmarted by an orange cat, how embarrassing
so the takeaway is i should secure a stable future by breaking into someone’s home and falling asleep in the most annoying location possible until the owner gives up and sets me up with a bedroom. got it
(via beardedmrbean)
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Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later
(via beardedmrbean)
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Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!
Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It’s me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here’s the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.
Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)
Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.
Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!
Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks
Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!
Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row
(via beardedmrbean)
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Hollywood has no concept of what 5th century Romans looked like. If I’m watching a movie about the final days of the Western Roman Empire, I should be seeing zero togas. It’s like if you made a movie about the Trump administration, you wouldn’t have people dressed like the founding fathers. That’s how wrong it is.
This is what 5th century Romans looked like:
I think the problem is that pop culture has this theme park version of history that treats time periods like distinct worlds with no fluidity between them. In Roman Times, people dressed like this vs Medieval Times when people dressed like that. But that is obviously not how time works. The end of the Western Roman Empire led directly into and overlapped with the Middle Ages, and the aesthetics we associate with medieval Europe were already long established.
On a related note, the “barbarians” didn’t dress like you think they did either. Less of this:
More of this:
(Art by Angus McBride)
Again, the end of the Western Roman Empire was the beginning of medieval Europe, and it already looked like it.
The notable exception was the Franks, who apparently really did dress like that:
There really is an exception to everything, and it’s usually the French.
(via boggmann)
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I CAN’T BREATHE
YALSo lOcKEd miAUt O De fECKIn cAr
(via mornington-the-crescent)
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when you are done with a tab you can close it. every browser in the world has a feature that lets you open recently closed tabs. also there is browsing history. need to visit a webpage often? may i introduce you to the bookmarks feature. there’s no reason to leave your tabs open. hoarder behavior.
OP I’m hitting you with a shovel
Anyway tag this with however many browser tabs you currently have. I have 40.
Thanks in part to you I now have a comprehensive categorization of types of people based on number of tabs they have open:
1-9: Kindred spirit. I am kissing you on the mouth
~10-25: Normal. This is more tabs than I would have open in most situations but it is not an unreasonable number.
~26-70: Woah there, partner. I don’t agree with this lifestyle but I understand it is normal for many people. Are you sure you need that many open though? Right at this very moment? Surely you can prune a few here.
~71-99: Okay calm down. You definitely don’t need that many open. When’s the last time you actually opened half of these, really?
100+: Official freak. This is too many. There’s no way you even remember which ones you have open. How are you supposed to find any of them?
1000+: Listen, I know I made a joke up there, I said “hoarder behavior,” but I think you may actually have a problem. With your browser tabs. You might as well have a maze of 50-year-old newspapers to navigate through to get to a youtube video. It’s time to re-evaluate the way you use the internet. I’m serious on this one.
Hey quick question do you fucking hear yourself. Did you read what you just wrote there
After a certain point, mobile Chrome does “lol fuck counting that high”
(via mornington-the-crescent)
